The lurve dilemma of the ladies in the ghetto

Now if there is one thing that I can say about myself, I love my African brothers with a passion!
Small wonder! 

I love their dark and chocolaty velvet skins, their deep and ever so sexy voices, their big and strong muscular bodies, their boeps and their 'packs', their smelly sneakers and their love for ganga....aaah! I think my uncle did a lot of these newage metrosexual guys a dis-service by just being plain gangsta and hood.

I find myself despising these 'bitch nigga's' as I call them. You know those kids that are influenced by Lil' Wayne and walk around with super-tight skinny jeans that they have to open their legs wide in order to keep on? Those wanna bee's that always need to wear shades, have random chains dangling around their mid-sections and they always speak like they have a hot potatoe halfway down their throat? Ya, anyway, the thought of them in a group just makes me shudder!

Why is it that as a ghettofabulous sister, we are always caught between the ghettolicious brother with the sultry voice, the gangsta swag with the right kind of loving; and the uber successful, metrosexual, stuck up 'bitch nigga's' with phoney conversations? Like, WTF is this guy on???
You always find that the man with less money always knows how to treat you better, how to love you deeper, how to hear you clearer and how to respect you as a woman. These 'model C' boys that retain the full english diction beyond grade 12 exams tend to also retain the stuck up attitude that traditional toekoe wearing, REAL sisters, are nothing more than bo 'Ousie' who must get told what to do.
Its really sad that that is what 'success' is in ghetto terms. Where does the love for ones self go? I mean is that why all of these 'bitch nigga's' start dating coloured, indian and white girls when they think they have arrived? No wonder we dont like you!
To all the brothers that find us attractive with our hair natural, our unmade-up faces and our hearty conversation, you were raised by real women and that is why it is so easy for you to see them! Thanks to your mothers who have made you into 'marriage material', you are men to be flaunted and kept.

The young boys who are still 'Soldier Boying' away...get some new pants, lose the earrings and all the extra bejewelments (no amount of money will rectify kak dentition, ask P Diddy!)and please, please cut off that hear!!!

Skinny is so not sexy!!!

It is always said that women are from Venus and men are from Mars in terms of how we see the world.
I cant help but add that in the ghetto the personification of this is nowhere more evident than in the ladies perceptions of their bodies...

Skinny women have it very tough in the hood in the sense that 'slender' was once in fashion. When the Niaomi's and the Iman's of this world were at the height of their careers dominating th lollipop girl catwalks of the 80's and 90's, thin, was definately in. The lean and petite structure of women who starved themselves, was the envy of most women and the desire of most men (most because Zulu men have always been tru to their love for izi nqe!).

Fast forward to 2011, the Beyonce's,
Nicki Minaj's,
Melissa Fords,
Tahiri's and Maliah's of this world have taken over the sexy spot, planting their boody all over the definition of sexually attractive!
I mean, ALL African women should be so confident in their skins, Kim Kardashian had to go and buy hers!!!!
So, why is it then that 'starch' water and lemon, legala and all the appetite suppressants are in such high currency ko kasi? I mean, realistically speaking, do you think Tahiri got that butt of hers snacking on warm water and carrot sticks!!!
I quite honestly do not understand why King Magazine does not just come over to Soweto and see what real and abundant, unpretentious boody looks like!
Come on ghetto ladies do you know how far some people drive to the hood to get ama kota or ama gwinya? Eat up and let us just celebrate what the Almighty gave us, boody, boody, boody and more boody!
Black is so Big and back!!!

Umgabulo - Terminology Dictionary

I would like to dedicate this section of the page to attempting to gaining some common meaning of the terms that we use. There are so many English words for which we have no single vernacular alternative, that is however, generally due to the fact that words are created in English but felt in ethnic languages.
We have words that sound phonetically the same and look the same when we right them, but the inflections we use when we feel them, i.e., express them they mean something totally different.
Eg. the expression 'nco' in isiZulu can be described as an emphasis with a heavy emphasis on the c's softclicking sound; in seSotho the same word, 'nco' is used to describe a container, with a heavy emphasis on the n as opposed to the c's soft click.

Since I am not one of the privileged who had an opportunity to learn to read and write an ethnic language fluently, I will limit the scope of my attempt to 'kasi-lingo', one of the many manifestations of what some people call 'Fanakaloko', 'Taal', 'seTsotsi', 'Ringa's'...those are just some of the few terms...so please just be nice, add more, dont just chop me uneccesarily.

Welcome Aboard

Hello and thank you for joining me in the expression of a beautiful ghetto life!
I am so happy that there will finally be a forum where Sowetans can celebrate their Sowetanness, get dissed about their love for Lokshin Management, share their secret kota, magwina and dombolo recipes and just relish all things we are...